Uncommon Freedom

How to Thrive (Not Just Survive) A Hectic Back-to-School Season

• Kevin Tinter

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Is the back-to-school rush leaving you stressed and overwhelmed? In this practical episode, Kevin and Bekah Tinter share their strategies for maintaining balance as entrepreneurial parents during the busy school season.

Drawing from their experiences with four children, they discuss:

  • Creating a family culture that supports balance
  • The concept of uncommon freedom and intentional decision-making
  • Practical strategies for adapting work schedules to school routines
  • Leveraging support systems and delegating tasks
  • The importance of incorporating rest and a Sabbath into your routine

Kevin and Bekah offer actionable advice on juggling work, family, and school commitments while keeping faith and family at the center. They share personal anecdotes about family dinners, quality time with kids, and the challenges of parenting teenagers.

Whether you're a working parent, entrepreneur, or simply feeling overwhelmed by life's demands, this episode provides valuable insights to help you thrive, not just survive, during the back-to-school season. Join us for a conversation that will inspire you to approach this busy time with intention and balance.


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Speaker 1:

Hey friends, welcome to the uncommon freedom show. I'm Kevin Tinter, and joining me, as almost always, is my amazing wife back. Hey, babe, welcome back.

Speaker 2:

Hey, thank you. It's great to be back from Italy, and thank you for holding down the fort while I was gone.

Speaker 1:

I really appreciate that what was the highlight of your trip?

Speaker 2:

it's really difficult to pick one thing, because italy and switzerland were phenomenal, but either the cooking class with a bunch of the queens, which was a lot of fun, or biking up a specific mountain I don't know the name of in the swiss alps area, where it was just really beautiful and I heard that you actually maybe got lost a little bit. Yes, a couple of us took a wrong turn and then navigated our way back like pros.

Speaker 3:

Was it a guided trip or no?

Speaker 2:

Yes, but there was one guide and, like eight women, oh say no more.

Speaker 2:

He was holding back for a few people that were behind us. We were ahead and we took a wrong turn, and there was multiple people who took a wrong turn, so luckily I was with women who navigated things well and I was the only one in the group that had my phone. Uh, so we could, you in my group of three. So we made it back no problem at all. A couple people had to wait for a pickup ride, and that wasn't us.

Speaker 1:

We found our way back and for those of you wondering like I got locked out of instagram, uh, a day after you left I have no idea what happened because I got banned or suspended from Instagram. They automatically suspended me from Facebook and now when I tried to recover it, I put in my phone number email address. It says account not found, so I don't know if.

Speaker 1:

I got hacked and deleted or what the deal was, but it was kind of interesting because in today's world you kind of follow your spouse when they're out of the country on social media and I had no access. So I was seeing some of your friends at church and in school and things like that and you're like, oh, I saw this picture. I'm like, oh, I wouldn't know, I have no idea what's going on with her, because I'm not social media.

Speaker 2:

So well, you could have logged into my account, but now I'm gonna have to show you because you actually haven't seen anything about my trip, which is really weird because I've been home for almost a week. But anyway, I am Becca Tinter and we are so excited to dive into today's topic, which is super relevant for us this fall, and I know a lot of you guys who are listening will relate. Now in Arizona we've been back to school for six weeks already, so you know we're halfway through September and for some people they just went back after Labor Day, and so we're kind of speaking broadly here when we talk about back to school, but it's still an important season in the fall.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and even if this is a couple of weeks late or a month or so late for some of you. Actually, some Arizona schools have been back for two months at this point. But what we've learned is a lot of times you have a plan and then you have to adjust and so if things are going well, maybe they can go a little bit better. If they're not going smoothly, hopefully we can give you some ideas to adjust, because we've found that every year we have to change things up because all of our kids are at a new phase in life, and so we just really want to help all of you balance as we mutually juggle work, family and the back to school rush. We've talked a lot about balance over the summer, but when school is back, your schedule is full. It really is a whole different ballgame. In many ways it actually simplifies life, but parents wink, if you can agree. It also complicates life when you've got four kids, and it definitely Running a lot of trips. Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

But we are recording this in the middle of the day Instead of late at night, which is one of the advantages of the school week, so we're grateful for that. And whether you're a working parent, an entrepreneur or just feeling overwhelmed by life's demands, this episode is for you. So we're going to explore some practical strategies to help you thrive and not just survive during this fall, all while keeping your faith and your family at the center.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So folks, grab your Google calendar. We highly recommend an electronic calendar that you can sync with the family. Grab a cup of coffee or two and just settle in. We're going to talk about some things we found to be helpful, but I will mention, like, the electronic calendar, we're using it with our older two boys now as they schedule work as we schedule. Like, we have our older two boys go to the chiropractor with us when they can. So when we enter those appointments it's in. You know, we just put on all, all four of our calendars so that they have visibility. So that is actually a if you know, if there's the one thing you can do right out of the gate if you're not implementing some type of shared calendar yet, highly recommend it. You can color code it, have different colors for every kid if necessary.

Speaker 2:

It's really helpful for us have different colors for every kid if necessary, is really helpful for us, absolutely. And then we have our assistants see our family calendar. So they have visibility on our family calendar so they can add things, and it also gives them a heads up of what the routine will be Monday through Friday. Any special events, kids, sports practices, things like that are auto loaded onto there and then they have access as well, which gives them a little glimpse. Our goal is an online, shareable calendar. Is that we talk to each other about important things. We don't have to talk about the less important things because our calendars talk to each other. So, yeah, so let's talk about the importance of intentional parenting, and again, we know that back to school requires, you know, a new level of that, because you're going to have to work around a bunch of schedules and it's a lot busier, and so let's talk about like a win and a failure maybe that we've had in parenting, especially regarding, like, the school year. So does anything come to mind for?

Speaker 1:

you? You talking like this current school year so far, or what?

Speaker 2:

Well, we've had six weeks, so does anything come to mind. I mean, mean, I know, when I see you, one of the things I think you do really well is in the afternoons. You know, going swimming in the evenings, like you did last night with Evie, or throwing a football with the guys maybe not so much this year, because everyone's yeah, it's, it's interesting.

Speaker 1:

I'm definitely noticing that with the boys where they're at. Carson is working many days after school. Austin is also busy. He was working, he's not working as much now. He's just not as available. And then Dylan kind of. Yes, I'm finding that I'm getting to do a lot of stuff I used to do with the boys when they were younger, with Evie, you know. So swim with her on a regular basis. I think probably you know the failure comes from just working from home and I think anyone else who works from home, whether you're self-employed or you have a remote job, is just the discipline of shutting down work at a certain time. It's easy that computer's always calling, your phone's always, you know, calling or whispering to you come check me, essentially, and it's easy to get distracted by those things. So I'm trying right now, since we have our assistant told typically about 520, to say hi to the kids and then, once 520 happens, pretty much disconnect, unless it's a specific appointment for the rest of the evening.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's great and I feel like as well for myself that blocking in my calendar, especially on my busier days, like around three o'clock, just 15 minutes to say hi to the kids, is a big deal because I don't really want to have to wait till five o'clock to greet my children who've been gone all day at school. So as much as possible it's having that time to connect with them after school, check in on their day, just kind of get a pulse check on their moods which changes a lot right now with three teenagers and and just say a hello and a quick hug and then, you know, maybe move on to finishing my work until around five o'clock if needed on certain days. The other thing is, you know, when I think about maybe a failure that I've learned from and I'm still very much in process, it's really the difference between presence and proximity. I think it affects your kids at any age, but especially when they're younger. You know there are things that you can do around your kids.

Speaker 2:

So you know, if Evie's doing her homework or coloring and I'm sitting at the table checking emails and we're not, we're just doing side-by-side work, I think the expectation is, hey, we're near each other right now and we're in proximity. But if I said, hey, do you want to play a game? Or she asks to play a game, and then I'm looking at my phone in the middle of the game, she notices now especially, but she has even through the last few years. You know that I'm not really present with her and I am supposed to be because I committed to that. So really disciplining ourselves as entrepreneurs and parents to put your phones or devices away, just like you would want your teenagers to do with you when you're having that intentional connection time.

Speaker 1:

That's good. And so we're going to spend a couple months to talk about the concept of uncommon freedom and really not letting circumstances or weariness push you to make all of your decisions. It's really talking about being intentional. We talk about lifestyle design. The simplest definition of uncommon freedom is really thriving in every area of your life. So specifically, it's physically, it's um, in your marriage, it's in your parenting, your relationship with your kids. I mean, we've already had church. You know, this school year we've already had some parenting challenges. We've had some. You, you know, this school year we've already had some parenting challenges. We've had some, you know, relationship challenges between you and I, also thriving financially and it's just really getting to a spot where you're intentional, you're rowing upstream in every area of your life so that you're not just letting exhaustion cause you to make, you know, meal decisions that are the simplest but not the healthiest for you and probably also the most costly.

Speaker 1:

It's just that intentionality of you know really spending some time to plan out the week, what are the kids' sports activities, what's their work schedule, and just being intentional with life and not just taking everything that happens as it happens.

Speaker 2:

And when we think about uncommon freedom, it doesn't mean you're without problems. You can solve a lot more problems with more resources, more training, more emotional management, but you're still going to have the problems. I think it's making a conscious decision to not let the problems dictate the quality of your relationships or the quality of your decisions with food or finances, but just to say like, okay, you know, we had a conflict even earlier today and it was interrupting our relationship, um, equity with each other, you know, and we took a little time separate from each other, but then we came back together again because we are committed to a bulletproof marriage where we're not just going to let those kinds of things build up into animosity, where we no longer have a connected relationship. So it does take contending and it does take growing upstream, which are values that you know you talk about in the book quite a bit.

Speaker 3:

So okay, Uncommon freedom is a game changer, not only for the focused leader, but also for the rudderless sojourner seeking direction. When Kevin talks, I listen, I lean in and always leave a better man. As the wisdom of Proverbs 3.13 states, happy is the man who finds wisdom and the man who gains understanding. I want to warn you in advance to prepare your spirit for a heart and mind shift as you read this book. I have learned that conviction comes when the heart is open to change. As I read this book, I was moved on several occasions to evaluate my personal life and make course corrections. This isn't just a book. It's a manual for creating godly leaders who we desperately need today and especially as our children walk the earth in, whatever it looks like 10, 20, 30 years from now. Who knows that? We need leaders who embody these things? Because not only do we need people who are healthy and wealthy and have the right heart, but we need people who know where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

Speaker 1:

All right, let's talk about creating a family culture of balance.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, this is about the importance of really setting family time or values that support balance in a busy season. And you know, as we've navigated the younger years, they're busy and, like all the kids are crying and talking and needing diaper changes. Around, you know similar timeframes and you've got meltdowns and bedtimes and bathtimes and it's very busy but you also dictate like, okay, this is dinner time and everyone's sitting down together and as your kids get older and more independent and more committed to their own priorities, then it becomes more difficult to spend time in those ways, intentionally. In fact. You know, we know that research has shown for years having family dinners creates a real sense of purpose and value, and but the interest of the end of family dinners is like you can leverage the benefit with only.

Speaker 1:

I think it's like two family dinners per week. Yes, exactly which is where we are right now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and when we have it, trust me, I'm like a little bit crazy about it. I'm like we are all eating together. I have prepared it. Sit your butts down. No, you're not going to be coming in five minutes late. Yes, we're all eating the same thing. Um, because at this stage, I thing about our family meals is that we've established it's definitely not our idea, but you know the highs and lows routine that many other families will do, and you know it started when Evie was really little, so she would initiate it and it was very cute, and now it's just become part of our family routine. It's a great way to just to get to know how your kid's day went, without saying how was your day, and then they say good, or you know, and so when you ask that question, it allows each person a chance to share a couple of things that are going well, a couple of things maybe they were disappointed about, and, and so that's a practice that we do whenever we are together as a family.

Speaker 1:

And actually one of the things I've learned, especially about communicating with teenage boys, is not to ask them too many questions. Ouch, you can essentially ask questions by making statements Difficult for a mom. So a way to with a teenage boy it would be hey, tell me about your high. So it's actually, it's a question, but it's kind of posed as a statement, not what was your high for the day?

Speaker 2:

Okay, Tell me about your low.

Speaker 1:

That's really good, and so if you can essentially pose a question as a statement, boys will tend to be more receptive to it.

Speaker 2:

I think just teenagers in general. Like I was talking to one of our teenagers yesterday and I could hear myself and no offense if my mom listens to this, because it's just a mom thing, not my mom thing but I could hear myself saying something in a way that was super irritating to my teenager, in the way that I used to receive it as very irritating from my mom, and I thought to myself oh no, I just did it and it was more just a checking in, but I'm sure it felt like micromanaging to that particular teenager. So that's that's a good way to ask questions, because as moms especially, we really want to know all the things and we only have like one of our three teenage boys that really want to share all the things most of the time.

Speaker 2:

So yes it's difficult for me.

Speaker 1:

So a couple other things on just setting up that family time as a priority. Obviously we talked about family meals. For us, church is mandatory and we've even had to navigate one of our kids. Like we said, you're not working on Sundays, which is very common. They started scheduling for Sundays and then it was like, hey, what's going on with this? Is this a fluke? We'll let it slide once, but we're not going to let this become a new habit. And then it started to become a habit. So we had to have a heart to heart. But you know, we're in a good spot where all the kids cooperate with going to church and it's just. It's not always enjoyable time driving to church together or home. You know, everyone knows what it's like being in a car with a family. You know the entire family.

Speaker 1:

Some days it's just but it's just the discipline, I'm doing it yes um, and then the other thing that I try to do is I try to have quality time with at least one kid every single day. It ends up being evie for the most part, or our youngest son. Um, you know, kind of as the backup, but we also try to do a family activity. Uh, we, we, a couple years ago. We're really good doing the boat with this. Um, it's honestly, as our kids are working, like just trying to find time when we're all together is very difficult. But the way around this for us is we also commit to doing three trips per year and the trips are almost like unfortunately, they're things that our kids look forward to, so it's like get the time off of work, and I think it's a way to get a lot of intensity and would highly recommend that people. It doesn't have to be fancy, but scheduling trips is a great way to get that quality family time.

Speaker 2:

Just getting out of your normal family routine. I think that's what makes the trip so special. I mean, we've done some cool experiences, but it's really, you know, packing the bag, leaving the home, not having the same commitments, puts you in a completely different frame of mind as far as quality time together and being a lot more unplugged all right, let's talk about practical strategies for back to school season balance okay.

Speaker 2:

So, uh, obviously a lot of times our kids schedules might interfere with our work schedules. Some of you might work a nine to five and so you work exactly the times your kids are at school and then a little bit after school. Because we're entrepreneurial and work from home, we do get a lot of choice on when we work, but that also means there might be time on the weekends that we're working or the evenings. One of the ways that we do it is that we trade off with each other, which is a huge benefit by both of us working in the same career from our home. So we've shared this before.

Speaker 2:

But, like, mondays and Wednesdays are my work days. So Kevin handles pretty much everything from drop-off to afterschool, which I could say dinners, but not necessarily dinnertime, but basically anything involving kids Kevin will handle. So we don't have to, I don't have to fight for that work time. I can get a lot of things done during those two days and Kevin does the same thing with Tuesdays and Thursdays. The other thing is just engaging with our child care to say like, hey, we need from school pickup until again around 530 in the afternoons so that after school routines driving to football can happen. And then we get the evenings with our kids, which is a high priority for us, where we try to schedule very little.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and then leveraging support systems. You know, one of the things that is important for families to look at is, you know, if you're paying for child care, whether it's preschool or daycare for a child or after school child care. It can be expensive. It can also be a worthwhile investment, but a lot of times it ends up actually costing families money to essentially to not spend time with your kids, to essentially to not spend time with your kids. So if you're spending money on childcare, highly recommend that you look at it and see what is the return on investment. You know, even if it's just a few dollars per hour, is it really worth it? You know, we understand the desire for a break. We can certainly sympathize with that, but just be cautious of that. And then you know, we know that not everyone can afford it.

Speaker 1:

So some ideas for kind of working around, you know, outside the box, is can you barter? You know, do you have a service or a product that you can swap with someone else and they'll provide you some child care? Could you swap child care? So maybe it's a Monday, wednesday, you're doing extra work and Tuesday, thursday, your friend's doing extra work. Um, or, you know, just swapping play dates. Uh, what we found is that there's, you know, these simple after-school activities that are really enriching to especially evie's life sports and arts and things like that that are very reasonably priced and they keep her busy for an extra hour, hour and a half after school, provide her some you know additional interaction with friends.

Speaker 2:

So those are some simple things. The other thing is, when we have child care at the house, it's sometimes it's not just getting work done, it's spending time with a different child in a higher quality situation, where you know I'll take one of the boys out for something, have one-on-one time with them, or, you know, if one of the boys is getting delivered to a sporting event, I'll stay home and play a game with Evie. So it's also using the ability of someone else to come alongside and either drive or supervise to spend quality time with maybe some of your other kids, Because we know that if you have more than one child, all of that time gets divided up. And you know, sometimes you're just looking for those pockets, those small areas where you can have quality one-on-one time with someone and make sure that they feel seen and known.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, All right. This next one. This is probably one that we really struggle with. I would love to be better about implementing this, but this is the concept of taking a Sabbath. There's even a lot of secular people that talk about the benefits of a Sabbath, but the concept is really a 24-hour period of just not working. You know, you don't have to be religious and dogmatic about it, but really just this concept of okay, we're going to unplug and just really relax, rest and recover, and it's difficult to do, we, we definitely. I think I would like to see us improve in this area.

Speaker 2:

I would like to stop cooking on sundays. Okay, yes, we've talked about that, but we still end up doing it.

Speaker 2:

So more freezer meals then, oh my gosh or take out, yes, or you could just take me out to eat. I need to just ask for what I want instead of making assumptions. Um, yeah, so it's choosing a specific day each week. I think for a lot of families, sundays is kind of I need to just ask for what I want instead of making assumptions. Yeah, so it's choosing a specific day each week. I think for a lot of families, sundays is kind of that natural day. It's also planning ahead and setting boundaries and then really engaging in whatever those restful activities are for you, whether it's prayer, scripture, reading, family time, sleep. We often take naps on Sunday afternoons and those are both restful and rewarding and just allowing ourselves to unplug from the everyday busyness.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and the bottom line is it is actually a commandment from God and it's difficult to implement. And I think the challenge is, if we take a Sabbath, we can't afford to take a Sabbath because we're not going to get everything done. And the reality is, even if you don't take a Sabbath, because we're not going to get everything done, and the reality is, even if you don't take a Sabbath, you're not going to get everything done. And so it's kind of a faith walk and it does literally, it recharges your batteries in a way that really nothing else can, and it just says you know what I actually recognize acknowledge that I can't get everything done and I'm going to trust God to work miracles in my life.

Speaker 1:

Fill in the gaps.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so let's do a quick recap. So, really, we talked today about the importance of intentional parenting and decision making, so we want to think about you know, why are we making specific decisions? Why are we intentionally creating time with our kids, time with our family, or leaning in on a discipline issue versus just letting it go? And that's because we're designing a life versus just accepting what's been given to us. Number two is creating a family culture that supports balance. So really working within your family structure to communicate well, to pivot when needed, to look for extra resources. Number three is practical strategies for adapting schedules and leveraging support. Delegate, delegate, delegate is what we say. And then, number four, incorporating the Sabbath into this busy season.

Speaker 1:

All right, folks, that is a wrap for this episode. Really want to remind everyone listening today that finding balance is not about perfection. It's about making intentional choices aligned with your values and your faith, and it's really about counterbalance, and it's also about just making constant adjustments.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely Kev, and I know this season can be exhausting, but let's all make a promise to ourselves that we're going to ditch being passive, Even if that means extra work on our part. We want to be purposeful in how we approach both our work and our family life.

Speaker 1:

If you found this helpful, please share it with a friend who might be struggling with balance. They might be a single parent, or maybe a thriving family with a you know a handful of kids. And don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for more insights on living with uncommon freedom.

Speaker 2:

Thanks for joining us on the path to uncommon freedom and we will catch you next time.

Speaker 1:

All right, friends. Please subscribe to the podcast for more insights on blending entrepreneurship and the entrepreneurial mindset with intentional living. You can follow us on social media. We are on Instagram, primarily, and Facebook, and you're going to find daily tips and inspiration from us there. You'll also find us on YouTube lots of shorts as well as our video podcast. And then please, if you enjoy this podcast, please leave us a five-star review and share us, and remember to subscribe on YouTube as well as whatever podcast platform you're listening to us on.