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Uncommon Freedom
From Burnout to Breakthrough: Harnessing the Power of Purpose with Gabrielle and Brian Bosché
In this enlightening episode of the Uncommon Freedom Show, Kevin and Bekah Tinter sit down with Gabrielle and Brian Bosché, cofounders of The Purpose Company, to explore the transformative power of living with purpose.
Drawing from their personal experiences and work with individuals and organizations, Gab and Brian share:
- How understanding your purpose can be a powerful decision-making tool
- The difference between purpose, passion, and mission
- Strategies for aligning your purpose with your career and relationships
- The impact of purpose-driven leadership in organizations
- How to experience fulfillment on demand by understanding your purpose
We discuss the challenges of finding purpose in a world of constant distraction, the importance of conviction in achieving success, and practical steps individuals and organizations can take to activate their purpose.
Whether you're a business leader, an entrepreneur, or someone seeking more meaning in life, this episode offers valuable insights on how to unlock your purpose and live a more fulfilling life.
Find more at: www.purposecompany.co www.brianbosche.com
Follow Brian & Gabrielle on IG: @brianbosche @gabriellebosche
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All right. Hey friends, welcome to the Uncommon Freedom Show. Today we are really excited to have new friends of mine, gab and Brian Beauches. They are co-founders of the Purpose Company, a training and consulting firm based in Dallas, texas. Gab and Brian specialize in helping individuals and organizations find and activate their purpose. Hey guys, it's awesome to have you. Thanks for joining us.
Speaker 2:What's up?
Speaker 1:What's up y'all.
Speaker 2:Y'all, there we go. Now we hear Dallas.
Speaker 3:Some Texas stuff there, dallas in the house A little bit.
Speaker 2:You know it helps us All, right, so tell us a little bit more about yourselves, as well as your journey to founding the Purpose Company.
Speaker 3:No, it's so fun, isn't it? I feel like some founder stories, they always start in positive circumstances and then there are founder stories that start in depression, and that was kind of me. I can't speak for Gab, but that was kind of me. My founder story started in depression and I have to take you back like 10 years ago where I was really bottomed out. I had a dream job when I was 16 years old.
Speaker 3:I wanted to be a national journalist. I got to do that right out of law school. I was covering cool stories like government corruption and terrorism, and I got to do that for about a year and then the show got cut from the programming schedule so I got laid off and then I got the immense pleasure to also go through a divorce at the exact same time that I got laid off. And for me, it plunged me into depression and I always like to jokingly say that that also plunged me into rage researching, because I had friends and mentors that were saying, brian, you need to find your purpose, and I'm like that's helpful, sounds nice, it's like nice advice to give, but how? And that's the answer that they couldn't provide me and that's where this journey of breaking down purpose into parts, and I know we'll get into that began for me personally. Gab's story is, of course, a little bit different.
Speaker 4:Okay, gab, let's hear your story. No-transcript. So that was really where this kind of identity shift happened for me in my early 20s and I just became I was kind of that typical, you know, high achiever addicted to success, because that was the only thing I could really control. And I kind of woke up and realized that paradigm that I thought was helping me make decisions was actually holding me back and so my own purpose journey interestingly kind of dovetailed and actually kind of met Brian and I in a very similar season. We met on Facebook, of all places, both really asking ourselves the same question who am I and what am I supposed to do about it?
Speaker 2:Wow, how early into your relationship did you guys start having these conversations where you realized you were on the same journey together and kind of looking at almost the same thing?
Speaker 4:I think it was the first phone call. Yeah, yeah, for sure, yeah yeah.
Speaker 4:We weren't like the typical like hey, you know, how are you, what are your hopes and dreams, how many siblings do you have? We're like, you know, you get to a point in your life where we were both kind of pretty mature, we were in our late twenties, and so we kind of both knew we weren't casually dating, we're partner shopping. And so we're like hey, are you on the same, are you on the same page, do you have similar values? And so a lot of our first date conversations were like what's your childhood trauma? What are your trigger? Responses. We were really very, very upfront, truthfully, yeah, because at that point I think that we both knew that if we were going to fulfill the call in our lives that we needed to have a person who didn't just stay out of each other's way but could really partner and support each other on this journey.
Speaker 3:I think that's persisted too, because all the way up until present day, I think it would be fair to say that Gab and I have like existential conversations every day, like pondering a way of the world or a problem in the world, or a deep psychological definition of something to produce some other concept or idea. And so it, where we are today, really reflects where we started.
Speaker 2:And how long have you guys been together?
Speaker 3:Going on 10 years. Going on 10 years. Nine years married soon and then 10 years together, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's incredible. Uh, you been called the next generation of motivational Titans. What an incredible title. What does that mean to you guys?
Speaker 3:That one's a fun one, Um, it's, it's, it has a humbling one. Because it's humbling because of who it came from. Um, that that came from, uh, the son of the late Zig Ziglar, uh, Tom Ziglar, who, um endorsed our, our book, the purpose factor, and that's what he decided to craft into his uh endorsement. And and that is a super humbling thing to hear from somebody like that. But also too, and I don't know, when you get, just like you guys, you start to lead like a big organization or you start to get the opportunity and the privilege to impact a lot of people, and then you have to live up to the responsibility. And I don't know if you guys can resonate with that. It's like this I've got all of this responsibility now, and then there's all the expectations that are tied up in the responsibility. But that was a special thing to get. And it's one of those things where a lot of your friends will look at you and go, gosh, what a overnight success.
Speaker 2:And it kind of comes back to that yeah, just 10 years in the making, it's overnight, yeah exactly 10 years, plus all the work that you probably were doing, or at least the things you were observing and going back to that were from prior to those 10 years. Right, it's just the 10 years of intentional work that you were doing, but we don't realize all the work that we're doing, as we're gathering information and going through experiences that will eventually shape us or that we're going to use to shift, I guess, the trajectory of our lives.
Speaker 1:All right. So let's move on and talk about purpose and impact. So you've worked with celebrities, military officials and Fortune 50 executives. It has to be obviously that's a very diverse field of people that you've worked with. What are some common challenges that these groups face when it comes to finding their purpose?
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think a big thing is whenever you're working with anyone and you're right, brian and I have had incredible opportunities to work with just the elite of the elite I mean when you're working with our military officials and leaders, not only can they kick your butt, so it's super intimidating talking about, really you know, very intimate personal things. But more than anything, you look at each person that's in front of you, whether they're a celebrity or they're you know, your next door neighbors. You realize really all of us are asking the same questions. We're all asking, number one, do I matter? And number two, does what I do matter?
Speaker 4:And when you realize that every single person, no matter what size of organization they lead, where they're at in their lifespan, whatever that looks like, they're all really starting to ask those two questions, I think it's really such a humbling experience and for us it creates a tool to connect with. Anybody who we come to interact with is just really getting to those two core questions. If we get to those two core questions and help people realize, number one, that they matter and number two, what they do matters, that's really where we see and we've seen this with organizations that we've worked with and you know, folks that we've consulted with and executive clients that we've worked with, is they're all really trying to figure out an articulate, personalized answer to those questions, which that's, of course, what we get to do every day.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it comes down to, there's this internal question that must be answered for somebody's heart to be in anything, and they have to be able to answer the question is what I'm doing worth it? That's the question. So, when you like an organization that is trying to recruit or retain, the people they're trying to retain need to be able to say this is worth it. The people they're trying to retain need to be able to say this is worth it. The people they're trying to recruit need to be able to say this is worth it. People who are already on your team and they can answer that question in the affirmative, they'll stay for the long term, they'll increase their performance in terms of customer impact, they'll recruit other A players to your team. And that's the core question, the existential question.
Speaker 3:Because, going back to the two questions that Gabrielle was talking about, which is do I matter and does my work matter? And then, ultimately, is this thing worth it? Is really the answer everybody is trying to find an answer to. I get whether I'm talking to somebody who's worth nine figures or somebody who's making six figures a year, or somebody who's just getting started out in their career. They're all wondering what's next for me. Do I matter? Does my work matter? Is this thing worth it? Will it be worth it? They're all doing it to either a conscious degree or a subconscious degree.
Speaker 2:It leads me to ask the question. You know the term that's gone around, especially the last few years, is quietly quitting. So you know people that kind of stop doing the work, especially with business types of things. Do you feel like for the people that are doing that? A lot of times it's because they don't identify their purpose in the mission that you're on, or that they've never even asked themselves that question, so they don't even know. That's why they're not doing the work.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think exactly what Brian said it ties back to. They're all trying to answer that question is what I'm doing worth it? And so if you don't think what you're doing is worth it, of course you're going to quietly quit, which is just a really nice way of saying slacking on the job. It's just we've kind of created a cool term that basically just says I'm not trying anymore, I'm disengaged, I'm scrolling, I'm distracted, I'm doing my laundry in the middle of the day. There are key things that I can look at based off of your schedule what you're supposed to be doing that you're not doing. That means that you're not engaged. And so we talk a lot of times about not having passion, not having that drive, feeling disengaged, being distracted, having imposter syndrome.
Speaker 4:There's lots of kind of keywords that you hear a lot of people talking about in this space, but they're all really saying the same thing.
Speaker 4:They're all saying I don't think what I'm doing is worth it. I don't feel motivated to get up in the morning to actually push through the hard stuff to go to the gym. I don't feel like pushing through that hard conversation to be able to sell that next person. I don't want to have that awkward conversation with the person that I'm leading because I don't think it's going to be worth it. And so, whether they're consciously or subconsciously doing it, they're asking and answering that question thousands of times every single day, everything from what they're putting in their mouths to what they're putting in their bodies, to where they're spending their time. If you show me a silent video of the last 24 hours, I will be able to determine what have you determined is worth it or not, and I think it's just a kind way to provide a mirror to the people in our lives, or partners, the people that we lead to say what have you determined is worth it? Because that will actually determine how you spend your time and where you focus your energy.
Speaker 1:That's great, all right. So let's shift to talking about your awesome book, the Purpose Factor. I am almost done with it and I've talking about purpose. I'm used to people talking about mission and I'm used to people talking about passion. What is the key difference when you talk about those things versus what is the key difference of tapping into your purpose, and how will that change people's lives once they understand that and once they start to really embrace that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, all of personal development is about making better decisions, because making better decisions accelerates time. Making poor decisions or bad decisions waste time, and so when we start from that, then we have to get to this thing where we identify what's going to be our decision-making tool in life. And if I go back to my 10 years ago in that depressive state, it wasn't just that I needed to know my purpose and live a life of fulfillment, it was I needed a reliable decision-making tool. So there's an unappreciated second benefit of knowing your purpose it's that it becomes your primary decision-making tool, because it allows you to ask the question is this relationship, is this opportunity aligned with my purpose? And when you look at some other things that people talk about whether it's why, or passion, or motivation passion is just a particularly interesting one because the first definition of passion, according to Oxford Dictionary, is a barely controllable emotion, which helps you examine exactly why it's a lousy decision-making tool. We can't make decisions in our life just based on barely controllable emotions. We need something that is both qualitative and also quantitative. And then you look at purpose from a 30,000-foot view or a definitional perspective, and the basic definition is reason for being, but it's better looked at through the lens of contribution.
Speaker 3:Purpose is the best of what we have to help others. It's the best of what we have to help others. But you also can't talk about purpose without talking about fulfillment. They exist in a loop-like relationship. I give the best of what I have to help other people, and fulfillment is the feedback loop. Fulfillment is the result of giving people the best of what I have to help other people, and fulfillment is the feedback loop. Fulfillment is the result of giving people the best of what I have, and fulfillment is actually what really people want.
Speaker 3:People, they say they want to find their purpose, but what they really desire is to live a life of fulfillment and all the benefits that come with that, and fulfillment is one of those things. That's also misunderstood, because when I ask somebody, gavin, I love asking this question, which is hey, what's the most fulfilled day you've ever had in your life or work? And you'd think most people would have an answer, but most people don't have an immediate answer, or they'll say something like when my first child was born or some kind of life milestone that a lot of people can experience, but they can't cite something specific related to their contribution, and it's one of two reasons. One, they don't know their purpose, so they don't know what to consistently give. That's their best, or they don't know how to receive fulfillment, and that is something that I think is really important to break down.
Speaker 3:Fulfillment comes to us in three primary ways. The first one is gratitude where we give our best, maybe we mentor somebody and their life transforms, and they come to us and they say, hey, thank you so much, you radically changed my life. My income went up by this much and I got married and my life circumstances changed. Every top person that I've interviewed or talked to when I asked them their most fulfilled day and they do have something like that it's never related to money, it's always.
Speaker 3:I led an office team through losing a colleague to suicide, or I mentored this person and they just became a radical rock star and it was so cool to watch that. So that's the first way gratitude. The second way is giving, or the opportunity to observe what happens when you give and transform somebody's life. And then the final way is growth that you're personally growing qualitatively but also quantitatively. So it's gratitude, giving and growth that are the primary feedback loops on your fulfillment, and that's what we're really after is, if you're going to talk about purpose, you have to talk about fulfillment, because I think all of us in this conversation can relate that if we only give and get no feedback loop at all, that is a really great equation for burnout. It's a really great equation for burnout.
Speaker 2:It's like what they're saying. What you're saying is so simple, but I don't think I've ever heard anyone break it down like that. It's like you know, maybe intuitively, when you feel fulfilled, but to be able to actually define it in three different categories is so unique. And yet when you said it I was like, well, that sounds like it makes sense to me. So it's interesting that you are taking something that seems like it would be simple, but I'm imagining most people don't go through the thought process to actually think about it that way.
Speaker 1:When we work with or when, like you know, I love Dave Ramsey Entree Leadership brand and he's they're always talking about. Okay, what's your company's mission statement Like? What's the difference for all the entrepreneurs and just the, you know, growth minded people that are listening? What's the difference between a mission statement and purpose? A mission statement and purpose.
Speaker 4:Yeah, one of the things that we love, which and, as Brian's saying, we're all on the same page, which is so stinking fun, and we love hanging out with other couples who get to work together too. It's so fun. It's like trading war stories. I'm sure people come up to you like, how do you guys do this and stay married? So we're totally on the same page, so this is so stinking fun.
Speaker 4:But one of the things that really differentiates mission statements from purpose purpose is the best of what you have to help other people. So you as a company have a purpose and you as an individual have a purpose. A mission is the direction that you're pointing your purpose. So it's like hey, here's all of us with our individual purpose. Our mission is how we come together and we're all directionally moving towards something. So being on mission means pointing your purpose in a certain direction.
Speaker 4:As a leader, it is your job to number one, find out what is the individual purpose of every person on your team. We've worked with major leaders and one of the top questions that we will ask and that we will get asked I should say they'll say well, what if I help my people find their purpose and they leave. And it's a huge question that people have is like, hey, what do I do if I bring you in and I help everybody on my team find their purpose? Then they walk out the door. There's one of two things happening. Number one if they find their purpose and they realize it's not associated with your employment, it's not us telling them that they knew that already. And number two who wants people who are sitting there butts in seats taking up space, that they're not aligned, when you could find someone who's like you couldn't pay them enough they would absolutely love to to do that. So alignment is super, super important. So, number one as a leader, you have to help every person on your team find their purpose. Number two it's your job to connect that purpose to the mission of the organization. So we say all the time that purpose personalizes the mission, purpose personalizes the mission.
Speaker 4:You, as an organization, you have a mission, you have a mission. You have a mission to be able to grow your impact, grow your revenues, grow your influence in whatever industry that you're in. But you, as a leader of whatever size organization, whether it's you and your dog, or you and 10,000 people, or you and 10 million people. It's your job to be able to make sure every person can know that. They know that they can fulfill their purpose inside of your organization. And that's what I think great leaders do today is be able to make that connection, give people permission to say, hey, we recognize you have a purpose, because it used to be everybody's like come join us. It was like, hey, I'm going to do the billboard, you come join us. Forget your passions, your purpose, your whatever art. We're big enough for you. But I think that, in particular, the pandemic really did change things, where people are now shopping around to say, hey, is this a good fit for me? Does this resonate with me? Can I be my authentic self?
Speaker 1:They're all using different words, but at the end of the day, I think individuals whenever they join an organization are all asking can I find my purpose and use my purpose while working with you? That's so good. Do you think our purpose changes through life? Or do we end up burnt out and dissatisfied in careers that we thought we were going to love because it really didn't check the box for purpose? So, like just me, as an example, I was a police officer. It was the job that I dreamed of as a little kid. I absolutely loved it for about five years, and even Becca had a similar experience as a teacher, but we both got burned out. At about the five-year mark I was done, and so do you think it's a like a shift in purpose? Or maybe it was checking some of the boxes, but I didn't quite fully understand what my true purpose was, and because it wasn't checking all of those boxes, that's where the burnout came from.
Speaker 3:The way that I look at this is that purpose sharpens over time, purpose sharpens over time. It's not that it shifts or changes, because you have your natural advantage, which is the role you tend to play in life and work, and that is a result of what was nurtured and it's actually the result of your nature when you were growing up. And then the second piece is your acquired skills and that, what was nurtured in your experience, your education, your life experience. And then you get into that passion set, that pull passion set. We talk about it as the. It's not passion as in barely controllable emotion. It's passion as the, as the types of problems in the world you want to solve. It's a very entrepreneurial or entrepreneurial mindset to have around the idea of passion.
Speaker 3:And then, of course, there's your, your origin story, which is the primary perspective or decision-making tool that you got from your developmental years. So as you go through life, especially if you're intentional about it, you're going to get a sharper clarity on what your natural advantages, your acquired skills are, your pull passion is, your origin story is, and the value that it has to offer in terms of perspective and wisdom. And you've probably seen us talk about this before, but it's this idea that purpose is not role-specific, it's actually job agnostic. It's really the tool set that you have to take to each thing you do. Some of the skills that you acquired in being a police officer and some of the skills you acquired in being a teacher actually informed the style in which you grow your business today from a skill set perspective. Then there's the parts of you that are of your nature, the things that you really had by the time you turned 18, and the things that drove you in a very, very basic sense.
Speaker 2:It makes a lot of sense. That's really interesting. Good question, babe.
Speaker 4:And I would say too, just to jump in there with what Brian was saying I would say those moments that both of you felt most fulfilled at your previous jobs are things that probably bring you the most fulfillment now.
Speaker 4:And so, kevin, for you being a police officer, a big part of probably what was most fulfilling was protecting people, was being able to know that you could be strong enough to prevent something bad from happening or to help someone out of a bad situation, and you get to do that every day.
Speaker 4:Becca, for you, I'm sure a big part of what you love about being a teacher was seeing people's eyes light up, being able to say, oh, I had no idea making connections that didn't already exist.
Speaker 4:So that's the fun part about being able to see how your purpose progresses over time is because those key moments and just as you were talking about before, becca, it's like, of course, of course, we should be able to find fulfillment on demand. That's what Brian and I are on a mission to do is to help 1 billion people be able to find purpose so that they can experience fulfillment on demand, being able to just pull apart those moments to say, oh my gosh, this is what fulfills me, so that way you can experience it on demand in any situation, in any experience, because I think that's where a lot of people get frustrated, depressed, feel bitter with the situation or relationships that they're in, as they haven't been able to be their own engine of fulfillment. They're looking around to society and bosses and economies and all these other things to find fulfillment. If they only knew that they had all the ingredients inside of them all along.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine the shift that would happen in relationships if every person understood what you guys are explaining right. Think about marriage relationships, parenting, business relationships and if each of us was figuring out the fulfillment piece individually and not having someone else that we had to rely on to provide that, it seems like it would be such a more rich and fulfilling relationship in general, not just an individual experience.
Speaker 1:So, and you know when you, when you talk about the like, oh well, if they find their purpose and they leave, you know that's a, that's a poverty mindset. Like imagine if everyone, or even if I don't know what percentage of people walking around I imagine it's very low truly know their purpose. But if we got that to 75% or 90%, okay, yeah, we might lose some people from our organizations. But what do we gain as a society if everyone we, or almost everyone we come in contact with, is living in their purpose? Right, I mean, we've all had the server whose clearly purpose was not serving food at a restaurant, at the server whose clearly purpose was not serving food at a restaurant.
Speaker 1:Right, I was taking a shuttle, the rental car shuttle, on Monday, coming home from a trip, and the lady there was a guy that picked us up, super helpful, friendly, you know gave him a few bucks. The lady was just like the lady sitting. The lady the driving the bus on the trip back to the airport was just downright scary. And the lady sitting across from me, like she just looked petrified. She's like I am scared to death of her and it was just like she didn't want the help and it was like you weren't motivated to tip her at all and you just realized like clearly she was finding no purpose whatsoever and doing this job. So okay, she moves on to something else. But the whole world is going to be in a better place when people work in their purpose and live in their purpose.
Speaker 4:Yeah, and a big part of that is because that person was not solving the types of problems that they're designed to solve. So a big part of fulfillment is solving problems, and so a lot of times we think whether it's from the parenting perspective, employment, leadership perspective is we want to make things easy for people, we want to eliminate the hard, we want to protect from the failure. But the truth is, the most fulfilled day that either of you have had in your lives the same with me and Brian are the days that were really hard, the days that we were like I don't know if we're going to make it. I are the days that were really hard, the days that we were like I don't know if we're going to make it, I don't know. We got to put our heads together and figure this thing out and then, at the end of the day, you're like oh my gosh, I can't believe we did it. That sense of accomplishment is the reward that goes on in our brain because of pushing through the hard stuff.
Speaker 4:And so when people are in situations where, that's where a lot of people get bored, that's where a lot of people start to have FOMOs, because they're just not excited about the problems that they're solving. Why is it? In the first six months of employment you have the most amount of satisfaction? It's because you're having to solve a problem every day. You're like I don't know how this thing works, I don't know who to talk to, I don't know where to go out to lunch, I don't know how to get my payroll, whatever it is. You're constantly solving problems, and so if you as a leader, and you as a parent, as you as a friend, can introduce problems that are aligned with someone's purpose, you're obviously going to experience more fulfillment for them, but you're going to experience more fulfillment for yourself.
Speaker 2:So good. The world really needs this message. So I'm really excited for you guys and, to that point, you've both spoken on TEDx and have been featured in many prestigious publications. What is one key message, and maybe you've already shared on TEDx and have been featured in many prestigious publications? What is one key message and maybe you've already shared it or idea that you always try to convey in your talks?
Speaker 3:This is like especially recently is that motivation is a fleeting feeling. Passion is an unreliable emotion. But when you look at the top 1% performers in anything, the one word I would use to describe them is conviction. Conviction they're the type of individual that would crawl over broken glass to serve people in need. If that's what they're supposed to do. They're the type of person that would crawl over broken glass to achieve their goals. They're willing to do what it takes. And then how do you break down conviction? Conviction is fascinating to me, because when I look at somebody like an Elon Musk, I would say he's unreasonable in the face of the reasonable. When I look at somebody like Elon Musk, I would say he's certain in the face of uncertainty. And so the way that we craft the understanding of conviction is it's the unreasonable certainty that what I'm doing is right and what I'm doing is worth it. If we can convey anything, if you can create conviction, you can achieve anything.
Speaker 3:Because if you look at the path to entrepreneurship, you guys know this full well, that there's actually three phases. There's the phase where you're unseen. There's the phase when you're seen and then, after you've been seen for a while and you've gotten really good. Then there's the phase where you are sought after. But in the beginning you've got to have enough conviction to go from not being seen at all, having no clients, to when you get the first client and help the first client. And it's kind of this analogy too, where, if you think about the water cycle, if we were all in a collective drought, rain would be sought after. If we were all in a collective drought, rain would be sought after. The clouds that produce the rain are seen and the evaporation process is unseen. But just because something is unseen doesn't mean that something isn't happening or something is first required before something can be seen for the first time. The point I'm trying to make is that I think if this generation if I could make a collective statement this generation lacks conviction and the source of conviction, if people want to know why can't I get this thing over the line? Why can't I sell the first client? Why can't I recruit the first person? Why can't I do it? It's because there's not enough certainty on the front end.
Speaker 3:And you've got to have certainty in your life in three major categories. The first one is I've got to have certainty unreasonable certainty in who I am. I got to know my purpose, then I've got to have unreasonable certainty as to my target. What am I shooting after? What's that mission? As Gab was saying, what's that mission? I'm pointing my purpose at, what's the target? And then you don't need to know all the steps, because that's impossible to perfectly know all the steps to be successful right now, at the very beginning. But you've got to have that unreasonable certainty about the first one to three steps to create momentum, because the moments create momentum and momentum creates movements. So if there's like one thing and this might be personal to me, gabrielle might have a different answer, but the one thing I like to communicate is you've got to have conviction. And then the second thing I like to communicate is how to create it.
Speaker 1:Great, Gab, do you have anything to add to that?
Speaker 4:Great job, brian. Isn't it so fun when you get to work with your partner? You're so hot when you're being smart. I love you. Great job, honey. No, I totally agree.
Speaker 4:I think the perspective that I always and Bren and I get to speak together a lot like we write our books together, we've got TED Talk together like we do a lot of things together we do things separately but we do a lot of things together. But I think what I really love to see people understand is that they have permission, perfect time that purpose should become available. It's when the kids leave the house, it's when things slow down, it's during spring break. We try to create this perfect microcosm of when we think we finally have permission to pursue our purpose, until sometimes those decisions are made for us, and so we really want to empower people to first of all, be able to understand that they are worth it, that they're worth taking the time to discover their purpose.
Speaker 4:It is not selfish to find your purpose. We tell people all the time be selfish enough to find your purpose and selfless enough to use your purpose. And if you don't find your purpose, then you're going to wake up days or decades later and realize that there was something you were supposed to do on the planet and you didn't do it. So that's just a big part for us is we want to just introduce permission and urgency into the conversation around purpose, because we're not guaranteed tomorrow, and we want to just provide people a platform to be able to say you know what? I think now is the time. I don't need to wait till next year, I don't need to wait till next month, I don't need to wait till my next, you know, retreat or conference or event. I need to start really asking myself some of these very simple but profound questions so that way I can have directional clarity and more confidence in where I'm going.
Speaker 1:Um, can you give an example? Do you help people as part of your process, helping people actually create like a purpose statement similar to a mission statement? Can you give me an example of what a good purpose statement looks like, whether it's yours or one you've helped someone kind of identify, just so people can kind of understand? Cause, since I've been listening to your book, I've kind of identified what I think is my purpose, but I would love to hear from you guys as the experts what is an example of a good purpose statement?
Speaker 3:So when you go into our book, we've got the four elements natural advantage, acquired skills, pull passion, origin story and a great purpose factor statement is one that articulates both your natural advantage and your profession, because your purpose statement speaks to your nature. Then there's also a fulfillment statement, meaning when I'm doing these things I'm most fulfilled, and that's an articulation of a combination of your skills and really the strength that came from your origin story. But a great example. I was just working with an amazing executive who just exited from a company and his purpose factor statement was this my purpose factor is to inspire excitement around a cause, to create shared experiences. The inspire excitement around a cause speaks to his natural advantage as a recruiter. Now, all of us know good recruiters. These are what marketing consultants call evangelists. These are the people that are going to move people around a product or cause or movement.
Speaker 3:And then the second part of his statement is to create shared experiences. Now, this speaks to his desire-fulfiller pull passion. And I could give you an example of a desire-fulfiller. A desire-fulfiller is somebody like Dwayne the Rock Johnson no-transcript. I'm most fulfilled acting with confidence to effectively communicate and inspire. The acting with confidence part speaks to his adaptive strength that came from his childhood origin story of rejection. And then the second part, to effectively communicate and inspire, speaks to a gathered, acquired skill, set over time, of him being a messenger, a communicator. So there really is, and our upcoming Purpose Factor Assessment that's soon to release actually is going to automatically produce these statements. This is kind of unheard of in the assessment space and, for example, like the two statements that I was just talking about, we actually have the ability to produce 625 combinations of those two statements in your purpose factor. So it's a ton of fun, but I think it serves as a great example of how to break down what makes a great purpose statement. So thank you.
Speaker 2:I'm excited for us to use that tool. I think that would be really helpful for us. So working together as a couple co-founders, you know, tell us a little bit about what that's like for you guys, Any unique challenges or advantages with blending your personal and professional lives so simple.
Speaker 4:But it's who's sitting in what seat. Because when you first come together, sometimes the seats that you play in your personal lives and your partnership is different than what you do and work, and so we had to really learn what that looked like. Because on the personal front I want to be a wife and nurturing and kind and all of that, but on the business front I tend to be more of the the sales person, the closer all of that. So we kind of tend to be more of the salesperson, the closer all of that. So we kind of had to learn kind of balancing those two iterations, which was really for the first few years. Truthfully, we did not do it perfectly. There was a lot of looking at each other like I thought you were going to do that. No, I thought you were going to do that. We also do have a lot of similar strengths. Many people say opposites attract. Every personality test Brian and I have taken we're. People say opposites attract every personality test, brian and I have taken we're basically the same person.
Speaker 4:So we had the same, yeah, pretty much. So we we had to learn how to balance strength with strength and say, hey, this is something maybe I enjoy doing, or this is a season I want to focus more on growing in this, in this direction. So so we've kind of learned to balance both of that. But but for us, I think the biggest lesson that we've learned is just to be for the other person. Like I'm for Brian no matter what, like I'm for him when he's winning, when he's speaking, when you know, maybe we had a tough week or a tough day or any of those things. Like no matter what, at the end of the day, it's like I want him to know and I want my team to know that we are for the other person.
Speaker 4:One of the kind of funny elements of co-leading a company, which you guys probably experience is, is sometimes with a team. It's like, you know, do we go to Gab or do we go to Brian, and so we'll joke around. It's like you know, sometimes they'll be like I'm going to ask mom something and then if mom doesn't get it, then they'll ask Brian, and that's been kind of funny and so our team's amazing we're, so we have the best team in the world, and so we've brought them into kind of the fold of kind of teaching them here's how we make decisions, like we walk them through everything, like, hey, here's the conversation we were having last night, because as a couple, you're constantly talking about business and they're not privy to those conversations. So, you know, we could have made a decision on Tuesday. Brian and I talked about it for 12 hours and then on Wednesday we come back to the team and say, actually we're going to go this direction.
Speaker 4:Well, for them it could feel like you know, whiplash, like we just talked about something yesterday, now we're doing something else. They don't know the logic, the conversations, the walk, the prayer, all of that that went into it. And so I think that's one of the things that I'm really proud of, that I think we've grown into that. I think communicating how we make decisions as a couple is really important, so that way they know it's not go to mom for something or Brian for something, or, you know, dad, brian for something. It really is. They're a united front, that they support each other no matter what, even if they would have made different decisions, and ultimately they know that we're for each other.
Speaker 1:That's great. So let's move on to your company. It's called the Purpose Company. Very simple, very explicit.
Speaker 3:I love it. We just, we, just, we don't. We can't be cryptic, we're just going to say it is.
Speaker 4:We're going to say who we are. This is the place.
Speaker 3:This is the place.
Speaker 1:So what kind of training and consulting do you provide, and who are the types of people that can benefit from your services and your coaching?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we have the individual side of our business where people can come to us for things like our forthcoming purpose factor and learn exactly how to find their purpose. I mean, I don't think there's a better offer. Right, it's find your purpose in less than 30 minutes for $49. I think that's a super fair offer. But then the other side of it is helping massive organizations and even smaller organizations help their people find their purpose and then the organization find its purpose, so that those two things can be aligned. If I were to use one word to describe what we do, I would use the word alignment when I talked about the definition of purpose.
Speaker 3:Purpose is the best of what you have to help others. If I could leave anybody with one question which would increase their ability to make good decisions, it's to when they're thinking about a new relationship or a new opportunity to ask the question will this opportunity or relationship allow me to give the best of what I have? If I can answer that in the affirmative, if I can say yes, that means I have a much higher likelihood of being fulfilled when I do the work. If I'm fulfilled, fulfillment drives increase in conviction. Your success can only climb to the level of your conviction, which means if your conviction's low, your success will fall to the level of your conviction and fulfillment feeds that over time. Level of your conviction and fulfillment feeds that over time.
Speaker 3:Conviction starts with certainty, but it's fed with fulfillment. Fulfillment is the fuel to keep it going. So that's really special for me to be able to equip people with a decision-making tool, because that's what we're really trying to figure out when people ask what's next. For me it's a function of what's the right decision here. That's great.
Speaker 2:Can you imagine leading an organization where everyone had that figured out? That sounds amazing. I can imagine it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I don't feel like we're there yet no but what a gift. Got some work to do. That's awesome. What is one thing you wish people understood about finding their purpose? Maybe?
Speaker 3:what's a common?
Speaker 1:misunderstanding or misconception that people have that you'd like to set straight.
Speaker 3:First of all, they need to, and I think it would be fair to say that we're an unearned dopamine addicted generation suffering from hyper comparison. That's where we're at, and we were talking about this earlier. We were talking about servers and people that get to help us every day, and we get to help them, guys. We were in the line at Starbucks at the airport. The line, gab, you remember this. We were standing together. The line was 40 people deep, all right. Now this is one of those lines where I look at Gab and go I don't think I need coffee, right. And Gab's like no, we can wait, we got time. I'm like okay, so we went.
Speaker 4:I'm the kind of person I come to the airport like 45 minutes before the plane is going to take off and I have bags and Brian is like this is high stress situation. Why are you doing this? I'm like nothing bad's going to happen.
Speaker 3:It's totally fine, that's me, I want a peaceful airport.
Speaker 2:It's not going to take very long.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. I was like it's everything's going to be great Even if I miss my flight. It's a great story. I've been like heck, no. So yeah, exactly, I know it's. Brian is like. Brian's like I love you, but this is not working. He'll be like I'm not holding the plane, I'm going to wherever it is that we're going. So yeah, he's looking at me like you're committed. I'm like oh, I'm committed.
Speaker 3:I need caffeine? Yeah. So we zigzag through the cattle guards or whatever those things are and we get up there to the front of the line. No joke, y'all. No joke. The person running the register, with a line 40 people deep, is one hand typing in orders and the other hand scrolling TikTok on her phone. Just little 15-second hits of dopamine. Little 15-second hits of hyper comparison.
Speaker 3:And this is why it's so important to know your purpose. In a digital age where we're essentially amusing ourselves to death, we are killing our fulfillment and motivation with hyper comparison. And why do I keep using that word? Because pre-digital age it was just comparison. Jones has got a pool, we got to get a pool. Today it's 15 second hit of Kylie Jenner's got a jet. I should have that by 23. Then another 15 second hit of oh, my friend's gone to Italy for the third time. I wish I could go to Italy. Then another hit is somebody just built a mansion. I got to have a mansion and it's just in 90 seconds. I mean, how many hits is that? How many hits is that? That's six hits of hyper comparison in 90 seconds. If you're talking about 15 second reels.
Speaker 3:And the reason one needs to know their purpose is because you have to be certain. In a world that's uncertain, you have to be, and you have to be certain long enough to make something successful. Because the one thing that didn't change, I don't know. I'm getting on a rant here, gab's like. Here he goes, I'm getting on a rant here. But the one thing that is still true is that even in this fast-paced digital world, to be successful requires consistency over time, meaning years. That part hasn't changed. Delayed gratification is an unavoidable law of success, and if you find your purpose and you find your purpose and create conviction by finding your purpose you stand a better chance to put in the necessary work to be successful and achieve the dreams that you want.
Speaker 2:I feel like this message needs to be in every high school, because we have, you know, three teenage boys in our house right now and one that's about to launch. You know, he's in his senior year and it's like these are the things we battle as parents. You know the electronics, the technology, the comparison, and the world is telling them very different things than we want for them. You know it's a constant messaging, mentoring, guiding disciplining.
Speaker 1:Our oldest got to spend time with writing on the trip. Yeah, Awesome.
Speaker 2:Another little chat, so okay. So we want to know what's next for you guys. What project are you excited about? I'm assuming it maybe has something to do with the assessment, but if not, what else? Um, what are you excited? That's around the corner.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I think that's a big part of it. For us is, you know, we're really on a mission to democratize purpose. We get really frustrated that we think that a lot of times people talk like purpose is a season of your life or you're lucky enough to be able to take off time to find your purpose, like we almost think that there's like this echelon of humanity that is lucky enough to find their purpose and that just doesn't sit right with us. We believe that every single person, no matter who they are, where they come from, deserves to find their purpose. So that's why we developed this assessment is if you can't tell we just nerd out around this stuff because we really wanted to be able to answer that question for ourselves is how do we find our purpose on demand? How do we experience fulfillment on demand? We didn't want to just cross our fingers and hope that we bumped into it in the 78 years most people spent on this earth. We wanted to make sure that we knew that. We knew that we were going in the right direction, doing the right thing, serving the right people. So I think that's what we're most excited about and being able to make it as affordable as possible, as accessible as possible, I think is a big part of it.
Speaker 4:So, yeah, the purpose factor, assessment for sure, getting that in the hands of students, of leaders, of CEOs, of executives, of parents, I mean all of those things. So, for us, we want to make purpose popular. We want to make purpose the thing that you talk about on your first date. We want to make purpose the thing that you talk about over the dinner table and when you're getting your first job and retiring and figuring out what's next. We just think purpose deserves to have a seat at the table in the conversation, not just passion, but purpose, and so that's really what I think we're probably most excited about.
Speaker 2:So powerful? Okay, so how can listeners get involved with the purpose company or support your mission, any specific programs or events they need to know about?
Speaker 4:Yeah, that's awesome. Well, we have a step into your purpose checklist actually for your listeners. So if they're interested, they can just text the word purpose to 33777. And there's a full checklist that's very easy and accessible that they can go ahead and go through. So it's just text purpose to 33777. And they want to pick up a copy of the purpose factor, they can do what Kevin's doing and listen to Brian's sweet, sweet voice.
Speaker 3:Talk to them For four hours and, I believe, 57 minutes, chapter by chapter.
Speaker 4:Yeah, it's a great tool and we really want to get into the hands of many people as possible, so thanks for helping us do that.
Speaker 1:Awesome. And social media. Brian, I know you're all over it. You love TikTok and you spend hours a day on TikTok. I've been scrolling.
Speaker 3:The entire time we've been chatting, I've been getting 15 second hits of dopamine from TikTok, the dopamine casino as I call it. That's what it is.
Speaker 1:How can people follow you?
Speaker 4:guys, not ironically.
Speaker 3:Instagram at officialboshe is a great way to follow us all and also for your leader executive types out there. We're on, both of us are on LinkedIn and we post a lot of great content value over there too. Awesome.
Speaker 1:Well, hey guys, thank you so much for joining us. It's been a pleasure. It was really fun spending time with you guys and all the crew on the John Maxwell trip to Greece and it was just such a great reminder of why you want to hang out with abundant minded people. I told so many people when I came home from that trip. I felt like a minnow in a huge pond. You know, you think you're figuring things out and then you go and hang out with all these major, major shakers and movers and you guys are two of them so excited to check out the assessment once it's available, excited to check out the assessment once it's available and just grateful for the impact you've had in my life and just kind of redefining things and really reexamining my purpose, not just thinking about mission but really digging into my purpose and utilizing it in our marriage with our team, with our kids and everything else. So thank you for everything and it's great spending some time with you. Thank you friends.
Speaker 2:Nice to meet you. Thank you, friends, nice to meet you.
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